Hier werden die Unterschiede zwischen zwei Versionen angezeigt.
Beide Seiten der vorigen RevisionVorhergehende ÜberarbeitungNächste Überarbeitung | Vorhergehende Überarbeitung | ||
liz_jones:white_van_man_was_a_lockdown_he_o [2023/06/13 06:28] – created jimmynutt22119 | liz_jones:white_van_man_was_a_lockdown_he_o [2023/07/08 19:22] (aktuell) – created hwbkatlyn178 | ||
---|---|---|---|
Zeile 2: | Zeile 2: | ||
They rendered it unnecessary to venture outside to the Co-op, where the shop assistant, shielded from you by a huge Perspex screen, would then lick her fingers to open your carrier bag. | They rendered it unnecessary to venture outside to the Co-op, where the shop assistant, shielded from you by a huge Perspex screen, would then lick her fingers to open your carrier bag. | ||
In the darkest depths of , online shopping seemed to be our national saviour. | In the darkest depths of , online shopping seemed to be our national saviour. | ||
- | (Image: [[https:// | + | I'm certain at one point we were encouraged to clap for delivery drivers, |
And I'm such a loyal customer, I must have been photographed in just knickers and thick socks more often than as proof that my parcel has been delivered. | And I'm such a loyal customer, I must have been photographed in just knickers and thick socks more often than as proof that my parcel has been delivered. | ||
So it saddens me to say that I am now at war with my delivery drivers. | So it saddens me to say that I am now at war with my delivery drivers. | ||
Zeile 9: | Zeile 9: | ||
| | ||
- | Pictured: Stock image | + | Pictured: |
| | ||
- | Now that supermarket deliveries are made sans carrier bags, he thinks nothing of solemnly handing me my box of black hair dye. It's all so familiar and disdainful. I swear that one day he is going to say, sotto voce: âWouldn't a dark brown, and semi-permanent, | + | Now that supermarket deliveries are made sans carrier bags, he thinks nothing of solemnly handing me my box of black hair dye. It's all so familiar and disdainful. I swear that one day he is going to say, sotto voce: ‘Wouldn't a dark brown, and semi-permanent, |
- | Last week, some other idiot delivery man knocked on the door, then just stood there, mute. | + | Last week, some other idiot delivery man knocked on the door, then just stood there, |
- | âSpeak, man!' I said, above the noise of my dogs' barking. | + | ‘Speak, man!' I said, above the noise of my dogs' barking. |
- | âIs | + | ‘Is this number three?' |
I pointed to the big number eight on the front door. | I pointed to the big number eight on the front door. | ||
- | âMolly?' he said, trying his luck again. | + | ‘Molly? When you adored this article and also you would want to be given more information concerning [[https:// |
- | âNo!' It was clearly a Valentine' | + | ‘No!' It was clearly a Valentine' |
- | âFrankly, no,' he said, shuffling away. | + | ‘Frankly, no,' he said, shuffling away. |
My postman is no better. | My postman is no better. | ||
- | He knows he sets off my dogs, but still insists on delivering leaflets for funerals and Sky Glass tellies. Whenever he brings me a parcel, | + | He knows he sets off my dogs, but still insists on delivering leaflets for funerals and Sky Glass tellies. Whenever he brings me a parcel, I ask him: ‘Something |
- | â[[http:// | + | ‘I doubt it,' he replies, deadpan. |
- | What's got into delivery men? And my postwoman, for that matter, who recently shoved a card through my door, despite me being in (listen, lady, I'm not Usain Boltâ¦). | + | What's got into delivery men? And my postwoman, for that matter, who recently shoved a card through my door, despite me being in (listen, lady, I'm not Usain Bolt…). |
When I caught up with her later, I was told my package was now at the local depot. | When I caught up with her later, I was told my package was now at the local depot. | ||
- | When I looked it up, the Post Office website states proudly: | + | When I looked it up, the Post Office website states proudly: |
(Image: [[|]]) | (Image: [[|]]) | ||
Stock image | Stock image | ||
- | DPD can be quite reliable (John-Paul, I salute you!). And Lewis, who delivers my coffee beans from Coffee Plant on Portobello Road once a month, you are a life-saver. | + | DPD can be quite reliable (John-Paul, I salute you!). And Lewis, who delivers my [[https:// |
- | The man who owns my local deli is also heroic, but says when he brings around my haul that he now feels âa | + | The man who owns my local deli is also heroic, but says when he brings around my haul that he now feels ‘a little like your dealer' |
- | But I simply cannot overlook the men who just sit in their vans outside my house, eating (like smoking, it should be banned), refusing to hand over the goods as âthere | + | But I simply cannot overlook the men who just sit in their vans outside my house, eating (like smoking, it should be banned), refusing to hand over the goods as ‘there |
- | Or the delivery driver who wouldn' | + | Or the delivery driver who wouldn' |
And I am not alone in my despair. | And I am not alone in my despair. | ||
TikTok and Twitter are awash with incidents of parcels being thrown in a hedge or dropped into a wheelie bin. | TikTok and Twitter are awash with incidents of parcels being thrown in a hedge or dropped into a wheelie bin. | ||
- | In the United States, one altercation involving a female FedEx delivery driver ended with her yelling at the customer: | + | In the United States, one altercation involving a female FedEx delivery driver ended with her yelling at the customer: |
It's cold outside and I'm just trying to gather my thoughts.' | It's cold outside and I'm just trying to gather my thoughts.' | ||
My worst experience with delivery drivers came just before Christmas. I'd ordered a book on gardens as a gift, knowing it would easily fit through my letterbox. | My worst experience with delivery drivers came just before Christmas. I'd ordered a book on gardens as a gift, knowing it would easily fit through my letterbox. | ||
But no. | But no. | ||
- | I returned home to a card that stated it had been delivered to a DIY shop in town. I drove to the shop, melting ice caps along the way. I told the man inside that him being a delivery hub defeated the whole object of online shopping. | + | I [[https:// |
- | âI | + | ‘I might just have well driven to a bookshop and cut you out of the equation entirely!' |
- | âI'm just a cog,' he told me, caring not one jot. | + | ‘I'm just a cog,' he told me, caring not one jot. |
(It's the indifference that really riles me.) | (It's the indifference that really riles me.) | ||
- | Being deaf, I misheard him. âAt | + | Being deaf, I misheard him. ‘At last! Some accountability! Thank you! You are, indeed, a c**k!' |
Meanwhile, I can no longer buy a Phillips screwdriver within a 25-mile radius of my home. | Meanwhile, I can no longer buy a Phillips screwdriver within a 25-mile radius of my home. | ||
Am I going to have to order one on Amazon? | Am I going to have to order one on Amazon? | ||
Cyber-flashing? | Cyber-flashing? | ||
- | I watched, fascinated, | + | I watched, fascinated, Asking For It?, the Emily Atack documentary about cyber-flashing on BBC1 last week. |
She gets hundreds of unsolicited pics of male genitalia sent to her every day. | She gets hundreds of unsolicited pics of male genitalia sent to her every day. | ||
All I've received in the past few weeks is a letter (remember those?) from George, who is 70. I don't believe he has a smartphone. | All I've received in the past few weeks is a letter (remember those?) from George, who is 70. I don't believe he has a smartphone. | ||
- | âDear | + | ‘Dear |
- | I wish, darling George. | + | (Image: [[https:// |